Wednesday 16 May 2012

Schooling Dilemma

I know I have made quite a few complaints about Riley's school in this blog and as some-one rightfully asked in a comment the other day, why is he still going there? The Mahjong Nazi and my friends ask me that same question and I really don't have a sensible answer to the question. All I have is the sense of how happy my child is and at his current school he is happy. He loves his friends and the thought of moving him fills me with guilt, because he is eccentric and I want him to always have friends and be happy. Should it matter that I am unhappy? He is the one who has to turn up there every day.

Riley has as many positive things to say about his school as I have negative and that is the basis of my dilemma. How do I know whether the unknown might be better for us, but worse for Riley? These are not recent questions and I have spent many sleepless nights worrying about this. I want to be able to ensure that people will treat him kindly and not bully him. He likes to hang out in cardboard boxes, loves Ben 10 and dressing up is as popular with him now as when he was four. How do I know that these new kids at an educationally better school will accept these qualities in him?



I feel sorry for him, because I have been so vocal and as a result of this his school received a wrap on the knuckles by the Association of Independent Schools today. I think it has probably become untenable for him to stay there. I hope he forgives me for this and can see that it is for the best. I hope that he manages to make a friend before some-one sees him as an easy target and I hope he grows to enjoy his new school as much as his current school. Most of all, I hope I am doing the right thing.
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9 comments:

  1. Anonymous16 May 2012 at 05:03

    Your child was happy - you were not - that says a lot about you. Most parents would work with their school to improve things if their child was happy - because a happy child is the main thing most of us strive for. As they say "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"... I feel sorry for him too... a child with learning challenges happy at his school and you took it away from him by being, by your own admission, publicly reckless.. how sad....

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    1. Anonymous16 May 2012 at 05:47

      Like

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    2. Rachael16 May 2012 at 18:07

      Hi Anon,

      You say that most parents would work with their child's school if there were issues, but the child was happy. Unfortunately, as I have experienced with my son's former school, its not enough to work with the school, if the school is, in fact, incompetent. Which sounds to be the case here with Riley's school.

      A responsible parent looks at their child's future happiness as well as their current happiness levels. An 8 year old should not be saying "but I'm happy here now mum" and that be it.

      Yes, we all strive for happy children. But my child would be quite happy to stay home all day and play x-box. Would it be the right decision for me to make to allow him to sit at home all day and do this, just because he's happy?

      As you say, Riley was happy, his mum was not, and you're right - it does say a lot about her. She cares enough to responsibly manage his long term future happiness and maximise his academic potential, whilst also trying to manage his current happiness situation. It's a pretty tough call.

      And in my opinion, for what its worth, she should move Riley in to a school who respects him, and his needs. That is to say, a school that is competent in attending to the needs of ALL its students.

      If a school receives a rap on the knuckles by the Ass of Independent Schools, well then I would say its very likely deserved.

      Here's a slight amendment to a favourite quote of mine. "Evil flourishes when good men fail to speak". "Publicly reckless" - maybe. A parent trying to do the right thing for her child, and standing up for her beliefs - admirable.

      To be honest, it sounds like you have drunk far too much vinegar yourself, and not enough honey, honey.

      Rachael S

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  2. mlwr16 May 2012 at 05:07

    Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Anonymous16 May 2012 at 05:41

    What's wrong with cardboard boxes, ben 10 and dressing up?! Sounds pretty typical to me. In fact I know some adults that still engage in such activities:)

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  4. Anonymous16 May 2012 at 05:58

    The overwhelming message in all of your blogs is how much you love Riley! You want what is best for him and sometimes that means making tough choices that may not always fit with what your child wants. Decisions like these are really tough! Riley is sociable and fun. He will have friends wherever he goes.

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  5. Anonymous16 May 2012 at 17:13

    I agree wholeheartedly with the last comment. What makes you a great parent is doing what's right for your child even if it means you are going against what they want sometimes. It shows strength to do what's right. Don't doubt yourself Colleen, you are doing an amazing job. As parents we can only do what feels right, we are never going to get it perfect but your amazing love for Riley shows through and that is the one thing that matters.

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  6. Jen16 May 2012 at 17:24

    To the nasty commenter you do not know the HALF OF IT so shut the fuck up and sort your own life out without being so obnoxious about someone else's. This has been an ONGOING issue for Colleen, not a flash in the pan decision. She is trying to sort through a multitude of factors.

    And just how much say does a parent have in school policy????

    "....Most parents would work with their school to improve things..." **cue unicorns and rainbows and flying pigs**

    Signed Jennifer Regan (not "Anonymous")

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